Am I Mistaken?

You know, I try to keep up with the news daily just to get an idea of what's going on in the world and I tell you everyday it gets more depressing. Senator Barack Obama once inspired me to have the audacity to hope that this country could positively change with the help of ordinary people. I hope that I'm not losing that hope. I am 20 years old and I have lived in America all of my life. As an American I have lived a wonderful life but 2 years ago something changed in me and I began to notice that the wonderful country that I lived in, was not as wonderful as I would have thought. Don't get me wrong, I do love living here. I love the beautiful diversity of the cultures, languages, customs, and expressions. I love the great breadth of variety in food, dances, songs, and artwork. I love the creativity that fuels are ever changing and evolving technologically advanced society. I love waking up and knowing that I am safe and secure, at least somewhat in my own apartment, and in my own room. I love going to school and learning about the great history of my people and where I originated from. I love learning but at the same time I hate it. I hate knowing that there are good people but they are vastly outnumbered by terribly evil people. I hate knowing that there are people that actually find pleasure in wrecking terror and pain on others. I hate knowing that there are people who hate me and people who look like me, simply because of the color of my skin, the way I carry myself, and for who I am. I hate knowing that when I graduate I will have to compete with people who have had a 5, 10, 15, 20, 50, 100, 250, and 500 year head start in terms of access to resources, information, and privilege. I hate knowing that before I even get started I am light years behind. I hate knowing that despite all of the amazing things I do in this world, nothing will ever really matter. I hate knowing that the beautiful country that I live in with its majestic mountainsides, picturesque ocean fronts, and amazing sunsets, is ran by people who could care less about anyone but themselves. Honestly I do want to see change in the world. And like Ghandi once said I am trying my best to be that change. I am trying my best to do it and not just talk about it and everyone around me tells me that I will play an important role in instrumenting that change. But honestly I don't know if it will be enough. I don't know if I will be enough. I know that I have a great purpose in the world but I don't know if even that will matter. The problems are so large. One professor from Morehouse College once challenged me to think on a global scale. And I truly do want to meet that challenge but the problems facing the world are so insurmountable. But like MLKJ once said, I have a dream. But my dream is a little different. I imagine a world of peace and faith, a world of hope, a world of fairness and true justice. I envision a world fueled by love, peace, and hope rather than greed, money, and corruption. I dream of a world of true beauty and wonder not terror and destruction. I envision leaders of true character and morals not false charisma and propaganda. I dream of a world where boys and girls can truly dream to be and do anything that their hearts desire regardless of socially constructed gender roles, race, creed, or ethnicity, or sexual preferences or orientation. Most of all I dream of a world where everything that is done is done for the Creator, to honor and glorify the one who made it all possible. Perhaps this is an audacious dream. Maybe my college education is making me extremely idealistic. Maybe this will never happen. Maybe it will. Who knows? But everyone can dream a little right? I dream big.

Sincerely,

RKNJ