I was listening to one of my favorite country artists, Carrie Underwood, on my iHome last night while taking my shower before my bed time rituals and came to the realization that more than anything love is truly all that matters. People spend their entire lives in search of money, material possessions, fame, when ultimately none of that will matter if one does not have love in their life. For the past two years I have been on a campaign for change at UC Merced all the while neglecting myself and my true desires. I have been overwhelming myself trying to make an impact as much as I can, wherever I can and I have forgotten the simple things that my mother always taught me, proverbs such as "a little goes a long way." I am finally coming to the realization that I don't need to burn myself out to find true fulfillment in life. All I need is love. This week has perhaps been the culmination of my stress fest, what with my having missed 3 days last week, coming back with two midterms, readings, meetings, etc. I was more than a little stressed out especially having had one of the most luxurious weekends I've had all month. Now the purpose of this blog is not to start a aww Rodney chorus, but simply to come full circle to what I need to do to be healthy and happy. My life thus far has truly been such a journey and I am finally coming into my own skin, so to speak and learning first to love God and second to love myself. It's been hard because you always take for granted the things that are giving to you and yourself is no exception. It's time that I start putting my needs before my goals because if I'm not enjoying the process chances are that I won't enjoy the outcome as much either. Yet and still my dilemma lies in whether or not I should just cut things cold turkey or slowly ease my way out or yet and still try to drag my way through it. It's a tough situation and one I could definitely use talking with a professional about. Hopefully I will talk to someone about it soon. Lately I've been much more spiritual than I usually am. Perhaps God will help me come through this tough time.
Sincerely,
RKNJ
1 comments:
wise analysis of life. we each must take stock of our own process every now and again. our process is linked to the universe. we are part of it. it is inside us. the world needs more insightful folks like yourself.
i've tried to be and i'm now on a mission to encourage the kind of introspection your blog chronicles. i want the world, especially black boys to not be afraid to search within themselves. that process, as you know, is the most powerful, liberating experince anyone can go through.
i've begun my recollections of that process on youtube. gotta get to folks with words and images today, right. click http://youtube.com/profile?user=bygINCpresents, lok and let me know what you think of any of the three videos.
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